Politics; (noun) Governing Through Deception Bumper Sticker, 11.5 x 3 Inch

Nonpartisan by design. It names no candidate, no party, and no year, which means it never goes out of date and never picks the wrong fight in a parking lot.

The definition format. Part of speech and all. The dictionary framing is what makes it funny instead of angry, and funny is what gets read.

Blue print, made by AzureGreen. It matches the rest of AzureGreen's pagan sticker line, so it sits comfortably next to a pentacle or a Nature Is My Church.

• Slogan: Politics; (noun) Governing Through Deception
• Print color: blue
• Quantity: one bumper sticker
• Maker: AzureGreen
• Dimensions: 11.5 x 3 inches
• Weight: about 0.3 oz

There is a long pagan tradition of standing a little outside the halls of power. The people accused in the witch trials of Europe and colonial America were, in most cases, the ones without standing, and the accusations came from the institutions that had it. Modern witches remember that, and it shapes a healthy skepticism toward anyone whose job is to govern by persuasion.

So this sticker is used in the pagan and witch community as a statement of personal sovereignty rather than a partisan jab. It sits beside the old idea, common in Wicca and eclectic witchcraft, that your authority over your own life is yours to keep and not anyone's to grant. Many practitioners read it alongside the tarot's Emperor reversed or the Hierophant reversed: power that has drifted into performance. It is also, plainly, a joke, and a good one, which is why it works on cars belonging to people of every political persuasion, including people who work in politics and know exactly what it means.

1. Wash the spot first. A little dish soap and water, or a wipe of rubbing alcohol, takes off the road film and wax that keep stickers from gripping. Let it dry completely.
2. Apply when the surface is somewhere near room temperature. Cold metal and blazing-hot metal both make the adhesive fussy, so a shady afternoon or a garage is ideal.
3. Peel back one end of the backing, line the sticker up, and press it down from the center outward with the flat of your hand or a credit card. That pushes the air out as you go instead of trapping it.
4. Run your thumb along every edge once more, then leave it alone for a day before the next car wash so the adhesive can settle.
5. When it is time to take it down, warm it with a hairdryer, lift a corner, and peel slowly at a low angle. A dab of cooking oil or citrus adhesive remover clears any leftover residue.

If the car is too public for your taste, it also does honest work on a filing cabinet, a toolbox, or the back of the television.

• Sure Looks Like Voters Picked Mean People bumper sticker: the same wry tone, one election cycle later.
• Conservative Government is an Organized Hypocrisy Bumper Sticker, 11.5" x 3": Disraeli's line, for a bumper that wants a quotation beside a definition.
• America Can Do Better Than Capitalism Bumper Sticker, 11" x 3": for the driver whose skepticism has a direction.
• We Are the 99% bumper sticker - 11 1/2 " by 3": another AzureGreen political sticker at the same 11.5 x 3 inch size.
• Freedom of Religion Means Any Religion Bumper Sticker: the pagan political statement that matters most to a lot of us.

Is the Politics; (noun) Governing Through Deception sticker partisan?

No. It names no party, candidate, or year, and it reads the same on any car in any election. The joke is about politics as a practice, not about one side of it, which is why people across the spectrum display it, including a fair number who work in government and find it funniest of all.

Why does a pagan shop sell a political bumper sticker?

Because a healthy skepticism toward institutional power is part of pagan history. The witch trials came from the institutions of the day, and modern witches tend to keep their authority over their own lives close. AzureGreen makes this sticker as part of the same line as their pentacle and goddess stickers, and it sells to the same people.

What does it look like and how big is it?

The print is blue, in a dictionary-entry format with the part of speech included. It measures 11.5 inches wide by 3 inches tall, the standard American bumper sticker size, so the whole definition reads from a car length.

How do I apply it so it lasts?

Wash the spot with soapy water or rubbing alcohol and let it dry completely. Apply at a mild temperature, peel back one end of the backing, position it, and press from the center outward with a credit card to push out air. Rub the edges down and wait a day before washing the car.

Can I remove it when I change my mind?

Yes, and given the subject, that is a reasonable plan. Warm it with a hairdryer for about thirty seconds, lift one corner, and peel slowly at a low angle. Leftover adhesive comes off with cooking oil or a citrus remover on a soft cloth, followed by a rinse with soapy water.