Harm None, Carry a Gun Bumper Sticker

The Rede riff. Witchcraft's harm-none maxim with a deadpan amendment.

Bumper-grade vinyl. Made for weather, wash, and highway miles.

The wry register. The sticker wall's dry-humor member.

• Format: vinyl bumper sticker
• Publisher: AzureGreen
• Honesty note: this is a vinyl sticker, not a talisman; it protects nothing but your reputation for dry wit
• SKU: EBHARC

The setup is genuine: harm none abbreviates the Wiccan Rede, the modern craft's best-known ethical formula, counseling that one's will be worked without harm, a maxim with real weight in contemporary practice. The punchline plays that pacific principle against plain-spoken self-defense, and the joke lands differently in different company, which is rather its job: bumper stickers are the folk art of declaring oneself to strangers at speed, and this one declares a both-and sensibility with a straight face.

We sell it as the humor piece it is, no more and no less: vinyl wit for the trucks, toolboxes, and gun-safe doors of the crowd that keeps both the Rede and the range membership, and a conversation piece guaranteed to start exactly the conversations its owner enjoys.

1. Clean and dry the surface first; vinyl keeps what it is given.
2. Apply smooth from one edge, pressing air out as you go.
3. Bumper, toolbox, or safe door: any smooth surface serves.
4. Gift it to the friends whose humor runs deadpan.
5. Expect conversations at gas stations.

Know your audience is the only instruction the format ever needs.

• Harm None, Do What Ye Will Bumper Sticker: the maxim played straight.
• Don't Make Me Get Out My Flying Monkeys Bumper Sticker: the threat register, comic division.
• Goddess Worshipper Bumper Sticker: the sincere neighbor.
• Have a Faerie Nice Day! Bumper Sticker: the bumper's sunnier comedian.
• Green Witchcraft by Aoumiel: the Rede's tradition on the reading shelf.

What is the Rede it references?

The Wiccan Rede, modern witchcraft's best-known ethical maxim: an it harm none, do what ye will, the setup this sticker's punchline plays against.

Is it a real talisman?

No, and we say so plainly: it is vinyl and a joke, protective of nothing but your standing as the dry wit of the parking lot.

What tone does it strike?

Deadpan both-and: the pacific maxim and the self-reliant amendment sharing one bumper with a straight face.

Will it survive weather?

It is bumper-grade vinyl, built for rain, wash, and miles.

Where else can it go?

Toolboxes, safe doors, and any smooth clean surface whose owner has the sense of humor for it.